the Fry Guy told me i don’t smoke blunts & to Blog ’bout that.

the Fry Guy told me i don’t smoke blunts & to Blog ’bout that.

Two $1.05 pre-Rolls, containing point 5 a piece, split equally  with my homie Danny B. At 2:30 or 3:00 in the a.m. gave us telepathic powers, which we used to communicate dining arraignments, concluding  Micky D’s to be the unanimous favorite, as the geographically closest restaurant also currently  being advertised  on television.

“I got two dollars, bro” Dan announces, permanently annihilating  our recently acquired telepathic powers.

“ I also have two dollars, somehow,”I stated, while holding up a crumpled paper Jefferson  in amazement.

 

Lightning Newport 100’s, while leaving the third floor apartment as the door securely closes behind us, we embark into the solid darkness of a town void of streetlights, toward  the distant glow of the Golden Arches.

 

Upon arriving,

store televisions broadcast liberal  news shows discussing transgender bathrooms and the ancient historical urination code of Hammurabi, except I was not really paying attention to them, just like we were standing in line behind people already holding paper receipts, having already ordered.

We waited behind  people until the sales associate informed us of the situation, apologizing for the 5 minutes of waiting, which I interpreted to imply that  all time spent inside a McDonald’s is an egregious event requiring additional money all the time, because my friend’s order totaled $2.36, an odd number of cents, & having only two dollars I gave him two quarters and a dime, yet somehow he was still 6¢ short, a fractional amount of money, which he simply found on the counter, finally satisfying the demands of the employee operating the cash machine. When he was done paying, the sales associate asks what I want from the menu  & not actually having been there to get  anything from them,

I told her “double cheeseburger”, an item I anticipated being $1.06, since I haven’t been to a McDonald’s since  some time in 20o1,& I had forgotten to factor in inflation, or perhaps I used to order hamburgers or mcChicken sandwiches, either way a mcDouble Cheeseburger costs $2.27 & having given my homie all my lose change found myself 27¢ shy of the bill, a relief since I never wanted Micky D’s originally, yet her eyes demanded more money.

 

“I only have this 2 dollars,” I informed, holding up my bill of certified united states federal currency, yet her eyes burned an unspoken & unspecified ultimatum.

“ I gave all my change to my friend, remember, you were there?” I implore.

My statements only infuriate her more, since she now realizes that her corporate greed just moments prior had economic costs, & the $2 would not be spent at McDonald’s today, Although inevitably the money will become a McDonald’s transaction,

since

Eventually everyone goes to McDonald’s, a 24 hour fast food restaurant In a town containing  17 total restaurants, with only 4 of them open after midnight (allegedly).and     All McDonald’s are basically the same.

Advertisements

iCan’t make this shyt Up, iWrite4Yelp #now 


if u find yourself on the north end of atherton street after 11:11 with no car, Denny’s is one of the only options for food NoT made by McDonald’s or a gas station, the reason Nicole (last name unknown) & i found ourselves being seated by an artificially affable waitress, more interested in reading the local newspaper at the bar counter than making sure Nicole got a salad, which she thought came included with the egg skillet she ordered, when apparently it does not, although the server did unintentionally provide dinner entertainment when she proceeded to seat a couple at the booth connected to ours in an otherwise empty restaurant. 
“Can we have any other table so I don’t feel crowded?” The monster energy hat wearing gentleman asks, almost inaudibly. ” i m sorry, I just don’t want to feel crowded in an empty restaurant.”
The waitress responds to His request with disingenuous eyes of hospitality. 
“Just any other table.” He pleads. 
As she directs the couple to another table, I put my perfectly cooked grand slamwhich down next to my nicely golden toasted hash browns, outraged by his comments of blatant disregard for my comfort as a fellow patron, i announce aloud to the room, 
“I feel personally insulted right now, as though my very existence is an inconvenience. Like I’m less of a person & now i also wish to be moved, most preferably to one of the already closed sections of the restaurant.”
“Well I would prefer a booth with a window view of the road, specifically the one right next to that couple over by that window,” Nicole exclaims, desiring a new table on the exact opposite end of where I am pointing towards. 
The waitress, unqualified to handle situations like the one currently unfolding, returns to reading the astrology section of the paper as Nicole & i debate over which piece of Artwork we would rather be sitting closer to, while The other couple lean closer together, speaking in conspiring whispers, undoubtedly planning a natural catastrophe capable of undermining national security by embezzling billions of National Flood Insurance money through the Federal Disaster Assistance program, according to the episode of PBS Frontline, streaming over the free wifi provided by Denny’s. 
My bloodshot eyes convey the message to our server, identifying the other customers as obvious terrorist, notifying her that my partner & i were on a stakeout, requiring Apple crisp to keep our true intentions incognito. 
She follows instructions, awkwardly smiling, filling up our glasses with plenty of water before returning with a check and two Apple crisp, containing a generous portion of crust topping. 
Overall the docile etiquette of service conflicts with my personal philosophy about work as a systematic orchestration designed to oppress the employee’s soul, perpetuating the state of hopeless poverty necessary to keep middle aged women reading 5 page newspapers over the course of an 8 hour graveyard shift for $2.85 an hour plus the generosity of 20% on a bill comprised of $2 meal items. I left smoking a Newport, questioning American values. “Where is the humanity?” I ask myself, wondering why my waitress lacked despondency, the natural human condition created by the alienated disconnection of a capitalist society. 

celebrities in Limbo

Prince died in the afternoon on the 21st of April. However,  during the Morning, through public bus windows on my way  to an advisory meeting past the university golf course, a series of sprinklers orchestrate  mushroom clouds in the   background  of  an individual practicing   close range shots.

IMG_6096
already in Limbo

( 20th  at ‘birr’s, 5  rotating eLs emit smoke spirals into the soft evening light).

21st still,  in the kitchen during pre dinner service,

Chyna, the retired women’s wrestler also died in a remote location “On aTMZ link posted to Facebook”, I  overheard from  Chef

amidst the metal clangs of spatulas against a flat griddle, chopping cheesesteaks in central PA.

“U heard about chyna?” He Asks me.

 

“yeah, she died,” I replied, before inquiring  “So,Has she even done anything lately?”

 

“Yeah, Drugs “ The grill cook  Exclaims, while he plates the steak melt sandwich.

 

  1. a Single sequin drifts in my coffee like a ufo hovering in a starless sky, Surrounded by Light pollution. I consume the coffee, including the sequin along with Newport ash that had plummeted to the floor of the mug, mixing in with the sugar sludge, while she discusses death policies with a life insurance company over the last remaining sliding-text-keyboard cellphone, the minimalist phone.

 

The 20th opens with bubbling black tar, boiling in recollections that refuse to dissipate, fizzling into a cool, hard solid, interrupted by suburban necessities, left basking in order to  decipher  multiple choice questions.

 

Clouds permeate in early evening sunbeams through slanted open blinds. Bernie sanders spoke on Tuesday. People stood in line for blocks by the hour. Thursday people waited hours  to get Curtis Jackson to sign 50 cent on vodka at the state run liquor store.

 

23rd  the smart phone battery continues  draining while apps broadcast the ubiquitous  gps location worldwide, simultaneously  re-configuring network structures.  24th as forgettable as clear & 65°. 25th the spot sugar routinely occupied on top of the fridge had been replaced with a large bag of flour. Maybe that’s what happened. I returned to sleep, unprepared for a day like this.

 

26th becoming dependent on my phone to function, I inadvertently  walk  off gps streets, not having the mobile device to provide direction. clouds densely formed in squalls as The sun rolls along behind them as if peering through bars, forming waves of light juxtaposed with vanquishing shadows, creating a domino effect of motion, highlighting an untraveled path. Without a phone I have only a vague concept of time, making it all the more difficult to keep to my work schedule,

While the wooded pathway leads only farther away from responsibility due to the extant construction of highway sound barrier walls.

 

6-6-16 sometime over the weekend

(reported by Internet notifications  Friday the 3rd)

experts determined the cause of Prince’s death to be a heroin overdose.

The cause of death was later changed to doctor’s error, since it took over a month to figure out what the symptoms of opiate overdose look like, a common medical  condition  which  most hospital emergency rooms treat by administering a shot of Narcan™.  & yet despite heroin overdoses  being  a typical  cause of  death when it comes to  celebrities,  especially when occurring  in a sudden untimely manner, the opioid antidote could not have been used, since not a single doctor nor health professional nor  personal friend/ manager could identify heroin as a cause of death until June??? .

 

When reached for comment

The head autopsy doctor stated:

“I should have known, just based on the way he was dressed.”

The fry guy said “blog about that” 

jesus christ committed suicide by cop. In the morning portion of my shift The fry guy decided my topic should be potatoes, which i steamed in the Cleveland steamer, a brand name of kitchen steamers.

The steamer steams mashed potatoes to reheat or whole red potatoes ready to be mashed in just the first hour of the day. By some time  after 4, the reheated potatoes turn to mush, being replaced by the mashed ones from 8 or 10 hours ago. By now the mashed potatoes are a day old, and clearly I should have added more cream or milk( although at 11:00 am the fresh bowl tasted like potatoes).
Sunday service lasted until the last pan & that was yesterday and an hour ago &
Monday remembers dead soldiers from war with Memorial Day.