People on television panel shows are talking fast for clapping. 

People on television panel shows are talking fast for clapping. 

People are terrified of Donald Trump becoming president and having access to the nuclear launch codes, although to provide perspective, people nationwide are terrified of clowns.
On the 18th day of October, hurricane weather made it unseasonably80°F in the mountains. at a local supermarket, an elderly lady in golf attire could be heard complaining that while it’s a beautiful day to be on the golf course it “could be a little cooler out”.
by November 8th, trump becomes president elect number 45. & While the volunteers at polling locations were counting the 2016 presidential election results, The local weather remained an autumn aberration, sunny and 65°F in the Appalachian mountains.
The day after electing Trump future leader of the free world, the American People begin wearing safety pins in order to symbolically declare themselves a place of safety from ideologies held by Trump supporters. This accomplishment in safety operated under the false presumption that friendly conversations were the equivalent of a literal, physical asylum, yet the trending hashtag accompanying the movement validated the efforts as successful according to liberal statisticians with stocks in the steel industry.
Despite the statistically significant increase in safety pin sales, it continued to snow on top of melting polar ice caps, creating a paradoxical confusion which caused NASA to ask for an extension on their official climate change report, requesting a few more decades to measure the net difference.
Trump responds by hiring a presidential cabinet of oil executives.
Awaiting Inauguration Day
in a drawer, cigarettes were left with removed filters, creating old fashioned filter less Newport 100’s.


the Fry Guy told me i don’t smoke blunts & to Blog ’bout that.

the Fry Guy told me i don’t smoke blunts & to Blog ’bout that.

Two $1.05 pre-Rolls, containing point 5 a piece, split equally  with my homie Danny B. At 2:30 or 3:00 in the a.m. gave us telepathic powers, which we used to communicate dining arraignments, concluding  Micky D’s to be the unanimous favorite, as the geographically closest restaurant also currently  being advertised  on television.

“I got two dollars, bro” Dan announces, permanently annihilating  our recently acquired telepathic powers.

“ I also have two dollars, somehow,”I stated, while holding up a crumpled paper Jefferson  in amazement.


Lightning Newport 100’s, while leaving the third floor apartment as the door securely closes behind us, we embark into the solid darkness of a town void of streetlights, toward  the distant glow of the Golden Arches.


Upon arriving,

store televisions broadcast liberal  news shows discussing transgender bathrooms and the ancient historical urination code of Hammurabi, except I was not really paying attention to them, just like we were standing in line behind people already holding paper receipts, having already ordered.

We waited behind  people until the sales associate informed us of the situation, apologizing for the 5 minutes of waiting, which I interpreted to imply that  all time spent inside a McDonald’s is an egregious event requiring additional money all the time, because my friend’s order totaled $2.36, an odd number of cents, & having only two dollars I gave him two quarters and a dime, yet somehow he was still 6¢ short, a fractional amount of money, which he simply found on the counter, finally satisfying the demands of the employee operating the cash machine. When he was done paying, the sales associate asks what I want from the menu  & not actually having been there to get  anything from them,

I told her “double cheeseburger”, an item I anticipated being $1.06, since I haven’t been to a McDonald’s since  some time in 20o1,& I had forgotten to factor in inflation, or perhaps I used to order hamburgers or mcChicken sandwiches, either way a mcDouble Cheeseburger costs $2.27 & having given my homie all my lose change found myself 27¢ shy of the bill, a relief since I never wanted Micky D’s originally, yet her eyes demanded more money.


“I only have this 2 dollars,” I informed, holding up my bill of certified united states federal currency, yet her eyes burned an unspoken & unspecified ultimatum.

“ I gave all my change to my friend, remember, you were there?” I implore.

My statements only infuriate her more, since she now realizes that her corporate greed just moments prior had economic costs, & the $2 would not be spent at McDonald’s today, Although inevitably the money will become a McDonald’s transaction,


Eventually everyone goes to McDonald’s, a 24 hour fast food restaurant In a town containing  17 total restaurants, with only 4 of them open after midnight (allegedly).and     All McDonald’s are basically the same.