Jesus H. Christ, the alleged prophet of Allah, died some time this week a couple millennia ago. Reportedly, Charlie Murphy died from leukemia, also this week, according to legitimate news on a Facebook feed. Although the next question transmitting in memetic form through the minds of an entire kitchen staff manifests as tangentially focused on mortality, specifically wondering about a global statistical comparison of shark attacks in prisons versus bear attacks in elementary schools, which according to google seems to indicate identical occurrences of never. However, it has been empirically determined that firearms do not protect people from bears, that rather a bear-mace-pepper-spray substance proves actually effective. Yet inevitably Cancer consumes life, while simultaneously Epimemetics remain ceaselessly existent, lying dormant in stories already recorded.
Concurrently, President Trump walks in front of the White House Rose Garden colonnade, apparently dying, slowly of stress for newspaper photographs.